On the 12th Day of Christmas I will now list for you the 12 most horrible, and obscure, Christmas songs…that I still love to listen to:
-“Our Love is Like a Holiday,” by Michael Bolton.
“I’ve been to Paris, London, L.A.
I feel the tropical sun in my face
This Christmas we don’t need to get away
Cause our love is like a holiday”
-“Christmas Through Your Eyes,” by Gloria Estefan.
Notable lyrics: “I see the rain, you see the rainbow
Hiding in the clouds
Never afraid to let your love show
Won’t you show me how
Wanna learn how to believe again”
-“Jingle Bell Rock,” by Hall and Oats.
Please note: theirs is the worst version of this song…and the video is, literally, the worst. I’m obsessed.
-“8 Days of Christmas,” by Destiny’s Child.
This modern take on the 12 Days not only gets the number of days wrong, but also includes this gem: “On the eighth day of Christmas my baby gave to me/A pair of Chloe shades and a diamond belly ring”
-“Hard Candy Christmas,” by Dolly Parton.
This is my favorite on this list. Killer verse? “Hey, maybe I’ll learn to sew
Maybe I’ll just lie low
Maybe I’ll hit the bars
Maybe I’ll count the stars until dawn
Me, I will go on”
-“Go Power at Christmas Time,” by James Brown.
If you ever needed proof he was often high, look no further…
-“This Christmas (Could Be the One),” by Ledisi
Never heard of this one? Consider yourself amongst the lucky…
-“Christmas Wrapping,” by The Waitresses.
This mono-tone little ditty exemplifies all the reasons why you’ve never heard of this group.
-“Go Tell it on the Mountain,” by Andy Griffith.
This is normally a great song. You didn’t know Andy Griffith sings, you say? He doesn’t.
-“Christmases When You Were Mine,” by Taylor Swift.
Tay Tay, what are you doing?!
-“Christmas for You and Me,” by Brian McKnight and Vince Gill.
Looking for that special song that mentions cheese this Christmas? Here you go!
“It’s 11 o’clock and I’m almost home
I’m just calling to let you know
Leave on the light for me
Soon we’ll make us some brie”
-“Candy Cane Christmas,” by Darius Rucker.
Vomit along to these lyrics:
“Angels sittin’ high upon a tree
Watchin’ over presents patiently
Milk and cookies on a plate
Santa Clause is on his way
The kids should be fast asleep”
I never actually considered “Hard Candy Christmas” a Christmas song. I like the song, and prefer the version in the movie, where they include the harmonies. I’m quite a fan of “Christmas Wrapping,” though, as well as “Father Christmas,” by The Kinks.